Fifty Ways
by Cold Drake Queen
Summary: SLASH SMUT Leon has been feeling down lately, and well an answer hits him hard. Can he really do it and find happiness again?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own everything! Muhaha! Got you! You really think I would write here if I owned anything? You really need help. Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix and the song featured belongs to John Velby. The only thing I get from this is enjoying the looks on friend's faces when they read it.

Warnings: This fiction may contain course (coarse or curse, not sure what you meant) language and sexual scenes. Reader's discretion is advised. If you don't know what that means, it simply states that it's going to contain a lot of bad language and limes and lemons. Gosh I love writing these.

A/N: OMG this has to be the longest fiction I have ever attempted. I mean I'm not good with plot. And well this one is so very simple it hurts. And well I want to have one chapter for every way. Oh and I just wanted everybody to know that I've changed everybody so that their ages are about the same. I did it so I don't feel so bad about some of the characters being kids. I mean there are some limits I won't cross. So on with the intro!

Dear Diary,

Today I was out at Bailey. I know, very original. I'm always out there staring out at nothing. But today was different; I was up there thinking. Ok, not original again. But anyway I was up there thinking of how boring my life was without my late wife. I mean, she was this bubbly thing that sometimes got on my nerves, but life was never boring. And well, I never did the same thing twice with her.

I've learned to move on since. Hell I even learned to love again. But it's all getting to be the same. I pick a name from my little black book, and go visit them. It's always the same. We talk, yes I do talk more now, and then I end up in their bed. We fuck until we can't move anymore, and then we just lie there in the after glow, same old, same old.

Well this, I guess, is where it gets a little out of sorts. Aerith cornered me. And being the perceptive person she is, she knew something was bothering me.

Now being one of Cloud's friends, I don't talk to her much. And well frankly her 'know it all' attitude kind of bugs me. You see, she knows that I've been sleeping with almost anything that moves, and she knew I wasn't happy with my seemingly perfect life.

"Leon," she said quietly behind me. Dammit, I hate how she can sneak up on people. I mean, even Mickey can't hear her coming, and he has those big ears!

"Aerith," I replied in an almost monotone, annoyed voice. My nerves were almost shot from her getting my attention. It was a good thing I had left Lionheart back at Merlin's House. If I hadn't, she would probably be in two or three pieces by now.

"I know you haven't been feeling well lately."

"I feel fine. I haven't had a cold or the flu in years." Which is totally, one hundred percent true.

"That's not what I mean, and you know it." See that 'know it all' bullshit again. I mean there is no way around it; you just have to live with her knowing everything. "The problem is all in your head."

"What do you know about what is going on in my head," I snapped. Shit, that was a stupid thing to do. I'm going to hear about this from Cloud next time I see him. "Sorry."

"Listen Leon, the answer is easy if you take it logically. I would like to help you in your struggle to be free."

"Then help and stop wasting my time."

"Well, let me be blunt then since you aren't being very nice today. There must be fifty ways to fuck your lover." Ok that was a shock. She really hit me with that one. "It's really not my habit to intrude. And further more, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued, but I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude. There must be fifty ways to fuck your lover."

Now how was I supposed to reply to that? I mean she was being very blunt. So I just turned back around and leaned up against the wall there.

She startled me again when her hand fell down on my shoulder. Shit, she has to stop doing that!

I glared at her. It's been a while since I've glared like that. But it got my point across. Her hand jerked off my shoulder like it was burned.

And frankly I didn't want to talk to her about this. This was a personal matter, it's not like I enjoy having people butt their noses in on my personal affairs. So I just left, I walked away. As far as I know, she didn't follow me.

On my way back I was thinking, she had a point. So here I sit, writing down things that I really can't say aloud.

I'm going to do it. Just to see if it can be done. I'm going to fuck them all in fifty different ways. If I can't do it then I have one up on Aerith. Otherwise I'll just have fun doing it.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow chapter 2, this feels so much like I'm just writing a bunch of short stories that run together. Only I need to keep them all in this little field. And well I kind of got yelled at for not updating sooner. Ya well I ain't the best writer in the world, that's why I write here. So updates aside, please enjoy my fic. And please don't mind the point of view changes. I'm going to try out every style I know of.

**And Luppy is the most awesomest person ever.**

Lol that is a cute beta note.

* * *

A tall figure stood outside in the rain, his brunette hair falling down into his face and pooling on the collar of a black leather bomber jacket. The water trailed off his nose falling onto the form-fitting white shirt underneath, and soaking it to an almost crystalline hue. The water that had managed to caress that form so far now made small rivulets down a toned set of abs, and eventually disappeared again at the waistband of a pair of black leather pants. _I wish I were that water, so very lucky._ Said pants where held in place by a number of belts, which held a very formidable weapon, the gunblade, not his sword. 

Now at first glance the figure seemed to be just standing in the rain waiting for something, or someone. But on closer inspection one would notice the twist of features that showed a small war was being waged inside the mind of said person.

All to soon the war was over and the gorgeous brunette walked up the stairs in front of him; his boots made a dull, thudding splash on the wet, wooden steps. He stopped in front of the door and paused for a moment, his one hand resting on Leonhart. He shook his head as if to tell him that he was crazy.

He other hand came up to knock on the door.

He waited a few moments before knocking again. This time he could hear the sounds of feet across a tiled floor. His muscles tensed as the door slowly swung open.

With lightening fast reflexes the gunblade lashed out toward the neck of a blonde standing in the door. But before the blade could taste flesh, the neck of a sitar intercepted it and sprayed sparks in every direction.

"Dammit, Leon, have you gone…" Before the blonde could finish a pair of rose-coloured lips sealed themselves over his. Not that the blonde objected; and hell, neither was I.

Leon pushed the blond back against the wall of the entryway and kicked the door closed behind him. He dropped his beloved gunblade as the sitar was removed from between the pair. Using this to his advantage he pressed his body into the one between him and the wall.

He ground his hips into the other male, getting a deep moan in response from the pale form.

_Can I have some water please?_

When he pulled back to allow them both to breath, he looked into those blue eyes.

"You need to learn to shut up sometimes, Demyx." He does speak way too much you know.

Demyx' only reply was to rub his thigh against Leon's groin, getting a deep groan from the brunette.

Leon grabbed the blonde by the front of his shirt and nearly dragged him into the sitting room, both gentlemen showering the other with nips and kisses. They knocked a few things onto the ground in the heat of the moment, neither caring much that some of the articles to land harshly on the ground and break were expensive and hard to replace.

Leon's leg snagged on the side of the coffee table and both forms tumbled onto the soft blue-carpeted floor. Only breaking their intense round of kissing with a couple of deep giggles.

_Now, I know what you are thinking. I should really step back and let them do what they do, _**(Luppy doesn't like that thought)**_ but well I was very interested in where this was going. Call me a yaoi fan girl if you want. I just think love is beautiful._

Ok, ok I'll get back to what is going on. Although I really can't tell what is going on. There are hands everywhere and to tell you the truth I can't figure out which set of hands belong to whom.

And at this point, well, I can't really tell who is making the most noise. It could be Leon. I mean he's been alone way too long and he's letting it all go again. But it could be Demyx. He likes sound, and makes a lot of it.

Oh wait, I can make sense of it again.

Demyx slid his hands under Leon's bomber jacket prying the frustrating thing of a pair of slender well-defined shoulders. The hands traveled down Leon's back and firmly placed themselves onto his ass.

Now I'm not sure what Leon is thinking. And to tell the truth, I think he's nuts. He pulled those hands right off his ass.

He slid his wet body down the form of the other, and used his hands to steady himself as he pulled the zipper of Demyx' pants down. And I really can't believe it, undid the button with his mouth. Now that people, is skill.

Demyx wiggled as Leon pulled the jeans down exposing a very cute pair of heart boxers.

Those two found their way down the slender hips and around a pair of nicely formed ankles.

Leon gripped the erect member in front of him. He looked at it for a few moments as if to decide what he should do with it. Upon deciding he slid the cock into his mouth. Slowly taking it in.

"Dammit, Leon." Demyx hissed.

Leon just replied by pulling back and plunging deeper, putting more and more pressure onto the shaft as he picked up speed.

When he could not go any faster he gripped the base with his hand and stroked it in the opposite direction.

Demyx had his head pushed into the lush carpet as he moaned trying to form words.

At one point I guess it must have gotten too much for the blonde, because he tried to pull the bobbing head off of him, but the much stronger brunette just continued.

With an ear-shattering scream, Demyx came into the brunette's mouth. Leon swirled the liquid over his tongue for a while before swallowing.

With a final lick to the quickly softening cock Leon pulled back. He looked up into half lidded lust filled green eyes. "I'll see you some other time."

Now I can see the old Leon coming back, that cold creature. Oh, but if he is going to stay this hot, I just don't care.

He gathered but his jacket and walked himself out the door back into the rain.

Demyx just lay there wondering what the hell was going on.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Chapter 3 … written in one day. I was so on a roll. And to think I started this with only the pairing and the setting.

B/N: (Aniraangel) All I have to say about this portion of the story is ...wow. Oh, and PHWEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Boots splashed in shallow puddles as our cute playboy walked swiftly down the street. There was a slight limp to his stride that nobody who didn't know him well would have noticed. Not that he minded much. The pain residing in his groin was going to be taken care of very soon. And if it wasn't he would try something else. Tonight was not going to be a waste. 

A very bright neon sign looked down at him, the words reading The Flame. It was a very tacky sign but the most popular club in town. To prove it the club seemed to grow a line of people that ran out of sight down the length of the building.

He walked right up to the bouncers standing before the doors.

"Hey Leon." A tall heavily muscled bouncer greeted him. "Here to see Axel?"

"Yep."

"Can I ask why?"

"Nope."

"Not one for talking today are we? Oh well. He's in there somewhere. Most likely on the dance floor."

Leon didn't bother responding as he let himself past the barrier. He could already feel the pounding of the music in his chest.

He looked over the crowd looking for his next target. The red hair shouldn't be hard to spot, but it was packed in here tonight.

A few girls tried to get him to dance by rubbing against him as he looked, but he paid them no heed. He was here for a specific task and he wouldn't let some air headed whore distract him.

He finally found the red spiky hair somewhere in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by a group of people he did not know.

Leon pushed his way through the chaos to his query. A few hands found their way to his backside as well as his crotch as he manoeuvred. He had to give out a few glares to perverts who thought him an easy target.

After a while the look on his face parted the crowd before him like the Red Sea parted for Moses.

"Leon!" Exclaimed the red haired pyro over the loud music. "I thought it dropped a few degrees in here. What can I do for you?"

Without a word Leon grabbed hold of the slender hips that were swaying to the music. "I have a problem you can take care of." He said into Axel's ear low enough to be covered by the music but loud enough for him to hear.

"Want to take this to my office?" The red head purred. Leon pressed himself into the hips of his dancing partner. "Or maybe not." Axel didn't take long to nip at the ear so nicely placed near his mouth.

The music changed to a new popular song. One with a heavier beat then the last. They started to grind themselves together in time with the beat.

"Leon," Axel gasped as the brunette increased the pressure. His head fell back on it's own accord bearing a long pale neck. A pair of soft lips soon found a home there. They ghosted along the exposed flesh. Feeling the beat of the pulse beneath the skin as well as the movement of an adam's apple. A smile touched those lips, one that wasn't seen very often, and one that created such beauty.

The music changed once again. But it didn't seem to affect the pair. They continued with their passion.

Axel pushed his hands up and over the strong shoulders slowly sliding the leather coat down Leon's back. When it was far enough down Axel raked his nails back up Leon's back.

Leon hissed in pain but allowed himself no time to wonder as he nipped at Axel's shoulder.

"It's been too long," Axel said to the brunette. Leon wasn't in much of a mood to talk.

So he just redoubled his efforts.

They were soon moaning and groaning as the heat of the moment increased. Most of the sound was lost in the music that blared around them.

"Leon." The red head called out in slight panic as Leon pulled him closer to him increasing the pressure on their groins.

If the sexy brunette heard he didn't show any sign. He just continued the savage dance.

"Leon." Axel nearly screamed before going limp. A warm wet liquid running down the inside of his pants.

"Damn it." The kitten picked up his plaything that was loosely hanging off of him and walked over to the nearest bar.

"What the fuck did you do," screamed a female bar tender. All the eyes looked over at them.

"He just had a little too much tonight. Take care of him and tell him I'll call him later."

Leon laid the owner of the club on his own bar and walked away. His problem less then fixed and feeling like he could hurt something out of frustration.

* * *

Be kind ... review. 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: So long it took me to write this. No excuses. Just couldn't get into it like I did the others.

B/N: PHWEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

I can't believe he took the train out to see me. He looked kind of angry and hurt when he walked through the double doors.

It had been so long since he visited me at work I almost didn't recognize him. But once those ice-cold eyes met mine, I knew it was he and what he needed or at least that's what I thought.

Normally he came in here to look for Tarzan. I don't pretend to know what they do together, but my darling always came home with cuts and bruises.

"Leon," I said in my usual clear voice, "Tarzan isn't here right now. They gave him the night off."

"I'm here to see you. Could we speak in your office?"

Now that was odd. He's never paid me one ounce of attention before. Something must have happened, something bad.

"You know I'm not a physiatrist. Why not talk to Aerith?"

"Actually she suggested that I do this."

I held out my hand in the general direction of my office. Silently voicing that he should precede me.

And well, this is where it started to go wrong, I mean right, well I don't know what I mean.

I walked past him at the door, and over to behind my desk. When I sat down and looked at him I realized my door was locked and he was closing the blinds. Now that was very odd. It must be very embarrassing for him if he had to do that.

"I'm not going to bore you with the details, but Aerith thought that since my wife died I needed a little help from friends to help me open up and live again." He started to walk around my desk and stood behind me. "And that is where you come in."

His hands on my shoulders where warm. I almost envisioned them to be cold like his eyes.

I was nervous at that time. It felt as if he wanted something from me I couldn't give.

"How can I help you Leon?"

"Shh …" He leaned down to lightly brush his lips over the base of my neck. The feel of them over my skin sent fire down my spine.

"Leon, I'm married."

"I know."

He turned my chair around so that I was facing him. His hand lifted my chin so that I was looking into his eyes. A strange icy fire burned there, one I have never seen before.

"I know," he repeated before his lips gently brushed mine.

"But it's wrong." I tried to defend myself. His hands slid down my arms leaving trails of warmth behind. I shivered slightly.

"I know."

His lips pressed harder into mine and I almost melted. He felt so needy as his tongue brushed my lips asking for admittance. I had no idea what I was doing when they slightly parted and that warm wet appendage entered my mouth.

I was gripping my chair with such force that when I let go to let my arms drift up to his neck to draw him closer they felt cold with lack of blood.

I dare say that my brain was also suffering from lack of blood, for I did not resist when he flipped us both over so that I was straddling him while he sat in my chair. Oh, and wiggle I must have done because he was moaning into my mouth. Now that was really odd. I mean I am a married woman and I've seen a lot, But I've never seen a gentleman of Leon's strength fall apart so quickly at a gentle touch of a woman.

Now I could be going out on a limb here, but I think that maybe he had been somewhere else and well she didn't do anything for him. And in a way I feel slightly disgusted because he has been with someone else tonight and well I'm his second choice. But how could I fell that way for long when his warm hands ghost up my spine and his colder then cold eyes study my soul?

My hair for once was tied up into a proper bun, but it didn't stay that way for long as his oh so sinfully quick fingers untied my hair. My own chestnut locks falling to mingle with his. I never did realize before that his hair is slightly of a warmer brown then my own.

He leaned in to capture my lips again. But the feeling was either that he wanted me to come to him or he was losing interest. Whichever it was I had to take the reins and bring him along for the ride. My hands drifted up to his cheeks and I let myself deepen the kiss. I let the needs that I have had for so long drift to the surface and flow out of me into him through the kiss.

When we finally broke apart we were both panting for air. It's really funny at how worked up and breathless you get even though you haven't done anything. Yet.

I let my hands drift down his chest. So soft that shirt, no wonder he likes to wear it. But I didn't let my hands settle for that would have been exactly what had happened to him before. I let them make their way to his waistline.

I ground into his hips as I worked on his belt. He groaned, not one of his groans of displeasure, but one of great pleasure. His head fell back over the back of my chair exposing his pale neck.

There I found small marks, like he had been bitten and kissed all night. This brought back to me what he had said before. 'Actually she suggested that I do this.' And by she he had meant Aerith. Now I have always been good friends with her, but it seemed as if she were playing a cruel game with us. To me it seemed like she had gotten him riled up and sent him off to me.

'Well,' I thought to myself, 'If she wants to play that game I'll show him what a real woman can do.'

So I slowly slid of his lap and took his pants with me. To my great surprise he wasn't wearing any undergarments.

Which was all well for I let my tongue make a path up the inside of his thigh.

Now normally I would have paused to make that proud appendage quiver in my grasp, but I could tell he didn't need that at the moment. What he needed was much more.

In one quick movement I moved myself back into his lap while I shed my own undergarments.

I took to his lips once more before I lowered myself to him.

"Fuck."

Now that was odd, I don't think I have even heard him curse such.

But I didn't care much as he grasped by my hips and drew me up and then let me come down again. It took sometime before we both found a pace in which we were both pleased.

Now if anybody tells you that a chair is an awkward place, tell him or her that I said it is not. It is actually quite comfortable.

Now I'm not sure how long we were there or how long we were like that, but I do know that all at once my eyes flew open. I didn't even remember closing them. His body trembled under mine just as a wave of spasms overtook my own.

"Thank you," was all he said to me as he replaced it pants and left. Which wasn't all that surprising.

What was surprising was just shortly afterward a worker game into my office and saw me there.

"Was that …" was all they managed to say before they noticed that my undergarments were on the desk, and my face was rather pale.

"It's not what it looks like," I started, "Ok it is what it looks like." I left it like that as I hurried them out of my office so I could put myself to rights. I let my thoughts turn to what I was going to do next while I put my undergarments back on. I smoothed out my skirt and did my hair.

I had come to an agreement with myself that it was only a one-time thing that I needed to do for a friend.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: hum … now; I think everyone might need a glass of ice water. I know I needed about 4 to write this. But in a way I couldn't put everything I wanted. I just couldn't get the thoughts to flow down my fingers into my keyboard. Kind of ironic too. Please continue and enjoy.

B/N: I liked this chapter. Have fun, all! **-Grins impishly-**

* * *

I'm not sure when I heard it first. The rumour mill isn't so much of a line here but an all out. I heard this and you heard this kind of thing. A little piece of information here and another from over there until you have a fairly good picture of what went on.

Now from one source I hear it started in the market. From another I heard it started in the streets. From yet another it started at the bank.

Wherever it started I did know one thing, Tarzan was mad. Not in his usual I'll kick your ass and forget it after kind of mad. It was the all out nobody would forget this till the end of days mad.

Now from one telling to the next the words change so I'm just going to take what I heard and change it to sound more like I think they sound.

Well As I've already started it started some place public. I'll have to ask Leon where next time I see him. Well Tarzan came right up to him and hit Leon full in the face.

"Tarzan mad." He declared. And well anybody with half a brain could have told you that he was mad. Like I don't think I have ever seen him just up and hit somebody without a really good reason.

"Whatever," And wouldn't you know, that was exactly why I told him to start this quest in the first place.

Now Sora he has always been the one to break things up, always. And shortly after he graduated high school he went out and became a police officer. Not that in a way he wasn't one to begin with. Well he got in there and tried to break it up.

"Leon, Tarzan, you guys have always been friends. How about we talk about this and not come to blows over it again?" Oh bless his heart. He doesn't know what he is messing with. But the way Leon is going he'll know soon. "Now Tarzan what are you so mad about?"

"Jane is not for Leon, Tarzan is." The word is everybody stopped what he or she was doing to watch the two.

"If I knew it would come to this I would never have put that collar around your neck." Now if you ask me I never saw a collar. But there are a few who swore up and down that you could see on the tanned skin where the collar would have rubbed against it.

Now some people say that Leon must have tamed the savage beast that was Tarzan and used the collar in the training. But me, I know the truth; Leon has this want, this desire to control. If he can't control something he just loses his cool. And well the moment Tarzan gave himself up to Leon, there was a collar of sorts in place.

I so very wish I was there to see it but in every account they say Tarzan lost his nerve, crawled over and curled up at Leon's feet.

"Come," was his only command to Tarzan before he turned a walked away. And every account said that Tarzan crawled after him. And that if he had been a dog his tail would have been neatly tucked between his legs.

And this is where rumour ends and my own ancient snooping comes into play. For it didn't take me long to hear about it. This place being as small as it is. And well I cancelled all my appointments and shut myself in my office.

And just so you know the great mighty Aerith does snoop. Keep that in mind when I ask you to do something. I'll be watching.

Well you see I let the powers that I contain float out from me and I slid along until I could see them. By that time they were entering Leon's place. And I must take a moment to say that man needs an interior decorator. So sparse was his apartment that you could call it sterile. I've seen hospitals with more decoration then his place.

Well anyway Leon just went in leading Tarzan into the living room.

"Tarzan, my pet," Leon all but purred while he stat down in a large chair. "Jane helped me greatly with something I had been working on. Don't be angry with her or me for what needed to be done."

"Tarzan does not understand."

"Oh my pet, you will in time." He let his hand come to rest on the head that had taken its place on his lap.

"Tarzan prove to Leon that Tarzan is better for Leon then Jane." Now I'm not sure if Leon took that as a question or a statement. But I could see his face change as he realized his control was wavering.

Tarzan drifted up Leon's both with such smoothness I have never seen the like before. It was smoother then a snake in water, or an eagle on an updraft. It was more graceful then a swan on water or an arabian horse across sand. I could sit here for hours and not be able to scratch the surface of what I saw.

And while I was trying to understand the movement made Tarzan stopped to kiss Leon deeply. And wouldn't you know it the man almost did exactly as his wife had done with one major exception.

Oh and what an exception it was.

Tarzan ran his tongue up and down Leon with such skill that Leon was weeping with joy. Tarzan took him from the world and flung him repeated to the edge of sanity. He did it so much that I'm ashamed to say I was felling rather hot watching it.

But if that wasn't enough the sinful wild man stopped. Leon growled at him like this was some plot out of hell. And the tanned face just smiled.

Smiled I say. Like it was a joke only he got. And that smiled moved closer to the scowling lips Leon was wearing. The kiss was very one sided, or at least it seemed that way to me. Like the stop of that tongue was enough to drive Leon into a foul mood.

But that didn't last long as with all the force Tarzan could muster drove himself down to Leon. Both men screamed. I think it was Tarzan who recovered first because he pulled back and drove himself down again.

I do say Jane is a lucky woman. Wild men are just that, wild. And they apparently have boundless energy because Tarzan rode Leon like there was no tomorrow, quick and hard.

It took some time before Leon stopped screaming and calmed to loud panting, moaning and groaning. He was covered in sweat.

Ah but I must say the screaming started again when Tarzan bit into his shoulder. Poor Leon. I think he might be thinking about why he even started this venture. But then again if he weren't addicted to it he wouldn't have started in the first place.

As quickly as it started it ended. Tarzan let out a cry to wake the dead and Leon voiced very loudly his end. I wouldn't be surprised is Leon's neighbours didn't call him later to complain about the noise.

I pulled myself away from the after glow and back to my office.

Taking out my notebook I wrote down a few names, places and ways.

I sat there a few moments thinking is I could combine Tarzan and Jane into one slot. Because in a way their experiences where the same. But I left them as they were because well one was a straight experience and the other was a gay one. So he had 4 down and 46 to go. And well this was just getting to be fun.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: If you don't know FF8 you might not get this chapter. I can't remember if Irvine is in Kingdom Hearts, but oh well he's in this chapter. So bring on the sexy, sharp shooting, womanizing cowboy!

A/N 2: I just want everybody to know Leon is very out of character in this chapter. I have never, ever seen him talk this much.

B/N: The promise should have been broken…you'll see what I mean as you read on.

He just stood there looking at me. His duster pooling on the floor and his legs crossed as he sat slouched on the chair in front of me. His hair hung down over his shoulder.

"Squall …"

"It's Leon now."

"Yes all nice and good. You changed your name after Rinoa died. How cute and noble of you dear knight." He shook his head and his hair slipped back around to the back. "And it seems you have changed in more ways then one."

"Whatever."

"I've known you since we were children and I never guessed."

"Will you help me or not?" I really didn't mean to growl that. It just happens sometimes.

"I'll help."

I sighed. Asking for help isn't something I'm used to doing. Most of the time I'll just find a way to do it, or find a way around it.

"The magazines are in the hall closet. The newest copy is in the bathroom."

"I think I'll just take the older ones." Safer that way.

"Do you need anything else?"

"Nope I'm good. Thank you for the loan of the magazines."

"Any day Squall, umm, Leon."

I turned toward the closet he mentioned and took out the box. It was rather large and filled to the top. There were a few magazines that had slipped to the floor and I stooped to gather them. Placing them neatly on the top of the ones already in the box.

I stood up taking the box with me. It was rather heavy and I had to almost juggle it until it was secure in my hands. Turning to leave I ran into something hard. The box fell to the ground and spilled its contents.

I looked up into a pair of amethyst eyes so perfect in their colour. So it was Irvine I had run into. "Sorry," I offered.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Was it just me or did he just use his silky flirting voice with me. I know people think I'm good looking, but he's as straight as straight can be. Was he really trying to make more of our friendship?

"I …" don't think you want to help me with this. Even if you think I look like a girl. You just aren't made for what I need.

"Look Squall, Leon, I know what Aerith wants you to do and I think I can help." Now there's a shocker. He's never shown anything of the kind before. "Talk to me Squall, I know you can. You need not do anything you don't want to." Now there is a good idea.

"Let's sit down and talk then." I left the box of magazines on the floor and walked back to the living room. I had decided that taking the chair would force him to take the couch. It was better for him to sit on the couch anyway.

"Irvine I know that you wouldn't dream of touching a guy or having one touch you. And I think I know how you can help me."

"Really."

"Don't worry I'm not going to make you uncomfortable." Much. "I want you to close your eyes and just listen. Can you do that?"

"I don't see how this is going to help you."

"Trust me." He closed his eyes and I let the silence clear his mind for him. I knew he was thinking too much by the way he seemed to fidget. "Calm down and don't think of anything but my voice and what I tell you to see and think."

"And you're not going to unexpectedly jump me while I'm sitting here?"

"Nope, I'll just stay here halfway across the room. You have my promise on that."

"Then start."

"Irvine picture if you will a room, small but not too small. Like the SEED dorms back at Balamb. You are sitting there on your bed. You can feel the soft cotton of the sheets under you palm. Your old girlfriend Selphie is there with you. She is wearing that tight yellow jumper that she really liked, and has already stolen your hat. It's sitting on her head and she is looking to the floor, so you really can't see her face.

"Your hand slowly drifts across the bed until you let it run itself softly up her arm. She slightly flinches away from your touch but you calm her with soft words, slowly leaning in as you speak until your lips touch the base of her neck.

"Her head slightly falls away giving you more access to her neck. You lay down a few soft kisses to her sweet flesh purring as you do. You slowly push her back onto the bed as you make your way up to her ear. You whisper words you want her hear as you nip at her ear lobe.

"Selphie moves under you and you give a small groan as her legs contact your straining erection." Irvine moaned deeply and I knew he wouldn't know if I changed the characters a bit. He was too deeply into the story to notice.

"I turn my head to your ear and whisper that I love you, letting my warm breath ghost over your ear. You turn your face to mine and capture my lips in a kiss. I taste sweetness on your lips and you taste the same on mine.

"Your tongue comes out to stoke my lips and I slowly open them to you. It invades my mouth and stokes the inside. I moan deeply but you swallow the sound.

"My hands come up along your sides and slowly slide your shirt up and over your head. My body bucks into yours as you grind down upon me and you groan at the increased contact.

"You remove my shirt as well. And trail kisses down my neck. They end when you find a nipple in front of you and you take it into your mouth. You flick it with your tongue and suck on it, then flick it again, enjoying the sounds I make as you do.

"'Stop toying with me' I manage to get out between ragged breaths. You laugh at me. A deep throated 'You'll have to wait' laugh. I growl at you but you pay me no notice."

I had to take a breath. My story was affecting me more then I thought it would. I mean Irvine is so very good looking. And his moaning and groaning was just hitting me in ways that I haven't felt before. And the way he twisted against his cloths like they were holding him back was almost too much to bear. But I had to make it through and I promised not to touch him or move.

"You slowly undo my pants not taking your eyes away from mine. I can see the want and desire float in yours and know that you can see the same in mine.

"You gasp at the sigh before you. I am now totally naked and in your eyes there is nothing more beautiful then me. You undo your own pants and slide your naked body up mine falling into the bliss you feel as your naked body brushes mine.

"Your lips claim mine once again and I moan into your mouth."

Crap this was harder then I thought it would be. I was getting hard just listening to Irvine and myself. There is no doubt in my mind he is going to get off on this. It's just a question if I can keep my promise and not touch him.

"The tip of your erection presses against me. And I growl at how slow you are going. You thrust your hips forward and press pass my tight entrance. You hiss at me, at how tight I can be." He really did hiss. I'm sure the sound of my voice is allowing his mind to play tricks on his body and make him feel what I'm telling him he feels.

"You start to move within me and tears slowly track down my pale skin. You lick them off and drive deeper until you hear me scream out your name in pleasure. My legs wrap around you urging you to drive deeper and faster.

"The moans and groans we make drive you faster until you feel me twitch and clamp around you. You move a few more times before you release into me, holding still so as to not ruin the moment." And there that is the moment I want.

"Squall," he called out as he orgasmed. I can see the wetness in his pants and I just looked at the waste. At this point I really had wished I could have taken that to myself.

I took a deep breath to calm myself and continued.

"You fall down next to me and hold me tight. You feel my heat spread through your body and we lay there together for the rest of the day."

I just left Irvine there and went to get the box of magazines I had dropped in the hallway. I picked it up and headed back to the living room.

"One day," I whispered to low for him to hear, "I will do that for real." And I left to do more research.

A/N 3: nods And if I have my way that wish will come true. pets Squall Don't worry darling I'll stop playing with you soon. But you know you are sexier when you are sexually frustrated.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer. Max is not part of Kingdom Hearts and belongs to Disney. I do no own him. Nor do I wish to, I found him very annoying in the little bit of Goof Troop I saw. Nor do I own Porky Pig who is not a Disney character or from Kingdom Hearts. He belongs to Warner Brothers.

A/N: Took me long enough to start this one. It's kind of freaky, even for me. And I couldn't find my beta so this chapter is fresh in ways that it shouldn't be.

* * *

CDQ eats popcorn and hands Squirrellie some. 

CDQ: What do you think he's doing?

The small squirrel just shrugs.

CDQ: Well let's zoom this thing and take a look.

Presses a button on her remote and it zooms in.

Knock, knock.

CDQ: Oh how original!

Squirrellie bites CDQ

CDQ: OUWWIE! What the fuck was that for? Oh ya, crap, for talking during the show, Sorry.

Max: Hey Leon.

Leon: Hey Max, is your dad here?

A large bang is heard and Goofy comes flying out of the backyard into the front, falling on his face.

Leon winces.

Leon: Max why don't you go to the movies or something. I need to talk to your father, alone.

Max: I don't …

Leon gives Max a hundred munny.

Max: Cool! See you around Leon!

CDQ: Leon if your giving out money I could use some.

Leon: Shut up or I'm not going to let you watch.

CDQ zips her lips.

Goofy: What brings you here Leon? Is Sora ok?

Leon: Sora is fine. I came to see you.

CDQ: God just kiss him already!

Leon glares at CDQ.

CDQ: I'm shutting up right now. - Under breathe - Asshole.

Leon: I heard that!

CDQ: Heard what? Shit Leon, I'm supposed to be shutting the fuck up, not talking to you.

Leon: Whatever.

CDQ: - Grins - So I can talk all I want now?

Goofy and Leon: NO!

CDQ: Fine, you guys don't like me. - Sulks -

Leon: Now where was I? Oh yes. Goofy I came to see you.

Goofy: What for? Are the Heartless or Nobodies attacking again?

Leon: No. Everything is fine.

CDQ jumps up and down and Squirrellie tries to hold her down.

Leon: What is it now!

CDQ: - Clears throat – You see Goofy; he had been talking to Aerith about how unhappy he was. And it came down to him finding pleasure in what he did. And well he's been trying to find fifty ways to fuck his lovers. You my dear have been picked as his less then human partner. Although I am wondering whom he is going to pick for his not human partner, I hear tell Simba is good for it. - Gets gunblade in the stomach - Ouch Leon that's low. Don't you know that you shouldn't make your author mad?

Leon: I don't care. When I signed up for this you were actually nice to me. I was able to fuck who I wanted when I wanted. But since then you have become a bitch who just wants me to suffer.

CDQ: Somebody mark this down on a calendar! He actually got mad and said a whole paragraph.

Leon: You are just as bad as Siefer.

CDQ: Thank you.

Goofy: Hello remember me? The one who is going to be screwed into a mattress somewhere awfully soon?

Leon: So you are going to do it?

Goofy: Not standing on my front lawn I'm not.

Yaoi Fan Girls: Awww!

CDQ: Where did they come from?

Leon: Write it and they will come.

CDQ: Isn't the saying 'Build it and they will come'?

Leon: Same difference.

CDQ: No it isn't.

Goofy: Anyway, moving on. If you will all come in we can get the show back on track.

CDQ grabs Squirrellie and swings him around in joy.

CDQ: Oh fuck; they left me outside. - Sulks -

Leon pulls Goofy to his chest and kisses him deeply.

Goofy: You know CDQ will be mad if she isn't here to watch this.

Leon: Who cares she can go fuck a Heartless for all I care.

CDQ: Really?! 'Cause Axle is really damn ass cute.

Goofy and Leon: No!

CDQ: You guys really do hate me.

Leon: What gave you that idea?

CDQ: Fine get on with it.

Leon: About time.

CDQ: Since you poor people can't see what is happening I'm going to narrate for you. - Ducks thrown pillow - Well Leon has just pulled something out of his pocket. And I mean that literally. He didn't just whip his cock out.

Yaoi Fan Girls: Awww!

CDQ: - Sighs - And well it appears to be a vibrator. Not that he is using the way I would. I mean he is just running it up and down Goofy's stomach. And I must say it isn't much to watch because all their clothes are still on.

Squirrellie chatters at Leon.

Leon: Shut up squirrel or I might just tell a certain silver haired boy where you are.

Squirrellie runs and hides.

CDQ: Well I guess that was self-explanatory. Anyway, it seems the chattering did some good because the two are taking the clothes off the other. OH MY FUCKING GOD, Leon is wearing red silk boxers, so HOT! - Faints -

Squirrellie runs out of his hiding place and fans CDQ.

CDQ: What did I miss?

Leon: Not much, just me screwing Goofy into the mattress.

CDQ: - Glares -

Leon: Just kidding. You only missed the most pleasant sound ever. Let me see if I can get it again.

CDQ: What the Hell is he doing?

CDQ comes closer to watch every detail.

CDQ: Well folks it seems he is using both his mouth and the vibrator to give Goofy a blowjob. That was very inventive, but I must say Leon, you've already given head.

Leon: Will you shut up you are ruining the mood and that isn't what I had in mind.

CDQ: Oh well then continue. Not that you'll be able to hear me when Goofy is moaning and groaning like that.

Goofy: FUCK LEON!

CDQ: What he do?

Goofy moans uncontrollably

CDQ: Let me see here. Oh I see Leon has moved the slick vibrator to Goofy's ass. No wonder we can't get anything coherent from Goofy.

Goofy screams.

CDQ: And that folks is the end.

Porky Pig: Tha ... Tha ... Tha ... That's all folks.

CDQ: Who let the pig in here?

Grabs the pig and throws him out, then leaves.


End file.
